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Let's determine which you're more like personality-wise: Sam, or Max?

If you like your results, save it as an image and post it on your website or screenshot it for your friends to gloat about your kinship to either of America's favorite sociopathic animals.

Proceed for the first question:

1. Do you have a thing against cameras?

No, the camera loves me in fact.
Yes, I would cover my face if one was pointed at me.
I wouldn't move out of the way if one was aimed at me, but I'd prefer to keep my place in the blindspots.
I wouldn't move out of the way if one was aimed at me, but I'd encourage pictures!

2. Your boss organized a hefty task for you to split amongst your co-workers. How do you help out?

I'm the project-appointed devil's advocate, here to tear apart the general consensus for the minority voice.
I can't work out the menial jobs, but I would understand where we need to go, and how we're going to get there.
I work on my own terms, but I have no problem introducing my findings and work with the rest of the team.
I'm the accountant; I supply the material or highlight important information for the process.

3. Let's take it back to the preschool days, if your jaded demeanor takes nostalgia. The teacher hands out a plump blowpop for the entire class, one for each kid. She reinforces a house rule "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." Junior with a deficient eardrum decidedly robs an extra blowpop from your peer against their will and throws them in the can head-first. How'd you react?

I'm snitching and letting the teacher handle the miscreant from there.
I'm telling on him, but only because I hate that guy.
I'm not going to say anything, chances are I'd get targeted too.
I'd keep my lips shut and try to negotiate with Junior so that I can get my hands on that blowpop.
Going straight to the source material to tell him off. Zero tolerance for bullies!
I should probably help the poor sap first so we can gang up on the bully.

4. What are you most self-conscious about?

My height. My width. I'm not answering that.

5. Do you keep up with today's celebrity culture?

Yes, in fact one of my heroes is a media figure.
Only their vandals and court cases; Those are about as entertaining as a Medieval Times floor show and involve the same figure of horsefaces.
No, I'm more in tune with older generations of entertainment.
No, though I pick up the news by word of mouth.

6. Which of these choices closely resemble how you spend your time on the internet? Assuming you're an avid user of course.

Watching compilations of things that I wouldn't want my mother t'know about.
I have my name on a few online petitions and perform acts of digital activism.
Picking off valuable figurines for my collections on E-Bay and other markets.
I get lost reading articles about subjects that have no relevence to my hobbies.
I may not have an online presence but I do have E-penpals I talk to frequently.
As unproductive as it is, I play loads of computer games.

7. How good of a listener are you?

You may have to repeat things to me.
I have no problems listening to people.
I have more problems talking over people than listening.
Don't talk to me while I'm busy because It just comes out the other ear.

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